Stepping into a cinema to see a film should be a pleasure. You're planning to see a film you think you're going to enjoy, this means a chance to relax and forget about your stressful day... but then other people happen... am I right?
There's something about this activity that makes us forget how to be rational human beings, so here are a few handy reminders.
You might be pre-booking, you might be getting tickets when you arrive, but the one certainty in (most UK) cinemas is that you can select seats... so do it. Don't let anyone or anything pick them for you. For some reason cinema booking screens appear to want you to make friends with complete strangers so they auto-select seats next to pre-booked tickets. Don't be the person who doesn't reselect seats... no one likes that person.
Personal comment: As a regular cinema-goer my rule is don't choose seats closer than three away. i.e. There should be at least two seats between you and other people where possible, and this is easy to do when the screen is at less than 50% capacity.
Everyone has their favourite spots, but be considerate to others. If you know you're going to get up a lot, pick an aisle seat, and probably one near an exit so you're not disturbing anyone else.
Some would say that if you're tall then you should pick somewhere that won't obstruct people's views, but if you stick to some common sense seating then that's really not going to be an issue.
They set film times for a reason. That is the time you should arrive for the film. Yes, there are ads and trailers that run for about 25 minutes before the film, but that's not always the case. I've been in screenings where there were only 5 minutes leading up to the main feature. If you turn up 25 minutes after the ticketed time you run the risk of missing the start of the film, and you'll certainly annoy other patrons who arrived on time.
You remember those allocated seats you booked earlier? Sit in them. Simple as. Why should you do that? Because we're a civilised people who like order. But also, think about the person whose seat you might be in. Then think about how you'd feel if it was you. Anxious? Annoyed? You have tainted their evening just by being lazy. You're also causing a knock on effect when they have to sit somewhere else. Yes, I realise they could just ask you to move, but no one wants to do that. It's confrontation and also ends up making them look like the bad person instead of you. No one wants that confrontation.
Speaking of confrontation, armrests... I don't know where I lean (literally in some cases). Generally I have an aisle seat so I lean on the outside rest, you lot can fight over the rest. The sensible option is to take the rest that's closer to your nearest aisle to account for the outer person's lean... trust me, I go a lot, this is all logical.
Most cinemas in the UK allow you to bring your own food in as long as it isn't hot or causes too much smell. If they sell alcohol then you can purchase it to drink, but not bring in your own. Sensible rules, I personally say have whatever you want as long as it doesn't bother other people.
I have encountered people eating McDonalds, Greggs, Subway, homemade pasta (on a plate covered in tin foil, the tin foil was almost too much) and homemade popcorn (in a large Tupperware that the culprit kept sealing and opening between mouthfuls, which was too much).
I am a crunchy snack person. I like nachos. I will always eat them in those first 25 minutes where we get ads and trailers, I don't know how anyone could possibly stretch a whole portion out to the entire film.
While I'm saying "eat anything", there are some caveats. When the film goes quiet, so should you. Bringing any kind of food/drink into A Quiet Place should have been an arrestable offence.
You're in your seat and the film is starting, here are things you should already have done, preferably by the time the trailers start...
... have opened 3D glasses and have them easily to hand.
... taken off jackets and scarves and put them somewhere they won't bother others.
... opened any food and drink you brought with you. There never needs to be hissing and cracking of drinks or rustling trying to open packets in the dark.
... also, you passed a loo on the way into the screen, that would be a sensible time to use it.
So, we're basically all sitting in our seats now (if we're decent human beings) and waiting for the film... does our etiquette end here? No. It does not.
Just because when movies got audio they were called "talkies" does not mean that talking is allowed from you. I'm going to be bold here and say you should only speak at normal volume or quieter during ads, no one cares about them. There should only be whispering during trailers, some of them are interesting. During the main feature the audience should be completely silent apart from reactions... just imagine you're playing a role in A Quiet Place, your character's name is "Does nothing that might get them dead". The occasional whispered comment or brief update for someone who popped to the loo is fine, the only time I'd say it's potentially not okay is if you're sitting next to people you didn't come with.
If you're going to constantly ask questions like "who is that person?" or "what is that thing?" then you should probably be paying more attention or waiting for the film to actually reveal those things to you. Other ways to remedy this include doing research before coming to the cinema and waiting to watch the film on home release.
It's never fine, you're a monster.
I have no objections if you want to use your phone on silent with the brightness turned down during the ads and trailers for anything other than talking. If you do it during the film... don't do it during the film. I did offer to patrol screenings from a Hawkeye perch with a beanbag gun but sadly no one got back to me on that.
That being said, if you're the only one there, or right at the back and out of everyone's peripheral vision then I don't object too much to you using your phone to look things up or tweet about the clearly very boring film that you're watching.
Leaving during a performance does occasionally need to happen, I understand, I've been there. Get out quickly and quietly while at the same time remembering to be safe in the semi-darkness. Don't dawdle and don't stop in front of someone if something happens on screen while you're on your way out.
Popcorn, the snack that bids for freedom. I frequently end up having to rescue popcorn from my person, it's unavoidable. What is totally avoidable though is showering someone else in popcorn. I'm looking at you guy who rather than asking his girlfriend to hold his popcorn as he took off his jacket proceeded to cover my hair with the first layer from his bag and didn't apologise... I'm not still annoyed about that, honest.
Putting your feet up is a difficult one, I don't object to it as long as you're keeping your feet and shoes off the seats and armrests. And you shouldn't do it if your shoes are going to end up in someone's peripheral vision. On a similar note, no one finds cinema seats completely comfy, you'll no doubt fidget, remember to try not to hit the seats in front of you when you do.
There's something about this activity that makes us forget how to be rational human beings, so here are a few handy reminders.
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| Photo by Karen Zhao on Unsplash |
Before the film
Seats
You might be pre-booking, you might be getting tickets when you arrive, but the one certainty in (most UK) cinemas is that you can select seats... so do it. Don't let anyone or anything pick them for you. For some reason cinema booking screens appear to want you to make friends with complete strangers so they auto-select seats next to pre-booked tickets. Don't be the person who doesn't reselect seats... no one likes that person.
Personal comment: As a regular cinema-goer my rule is don't choose seats closer than three away. i.e. There should be at least two seats between you and other people where possible, and this is easy to do when the screen is at less than 50% capacity.
Everyone has their favourite spots, but be considerate to others. If you know you're going to get up a lot, pick an aisle seat, and probably one near an exit so you're not disturbing anyone else.
Some would say that if you're tall then you should pick somewhere that won't obstruct people's views, but if you stick to some common sense seating then that's really not going to be an issue.
Arrive on time
They set film times for a reason. That is the time you should arrive for the film. Yes, there are ads and trailers that run for about 25 minutes before the film, but that's not always the case. I've been in screenings where there were only 5 minutes leading up to the main feature. If you turn up 25 minutes after the ticketed time you run the risk of missing the start of the film, and you'll certainly annoy other patrons who arrived on time.
Sitting in your seat
You remember those allocated seats you booked earlier? Sit in them. Simple as. Why should you do that? Because we're a civilised people who like order. But also, think about the person whose seat you might be in. Then think about how you'd feel if it was you. Anxious? Annoyed? You have tainted their evening just by being lazy. You're also causing a knock on effect when they have to sit somewhere else. Yes, I realise they could just ask you to move, but no one wants to do that. It's confrontation and also ends up making them look like the bad person instead of you. No one wants that confrontation.
Speaking of confrontation, armrests... I don't know where I lean (literally in some cases). Generally I have an aisle seat so I lean on the outside rest, you lot can fight over the rest. The sensible option is to take the rest that's closer to your nearest aisle to account for the outer person's lean... trust me, I go a lot, this is all logical.
Refreshments
Most cinemas in the UK allow you to bring your own food in as long as it isn't hot or causes too much smell. If they sell alcohol then you can purchase it to drink, but not bring in your own. Sensible rules, I personally say have whatever you want as long as it doesn't bother other people.
I have encountered people eating McDonalds, Greggs, Subway, homemade pasta (on a plate covered in tin foil, the tin foil was almost too much) and homemade popcorn (in a large Tupperware that the culprit kept sealing and opening between mouthfuls, which was too much).
I am a crunchy snack person. I like nachos. I will always eat them in those first 25 minutes where we get ads and trailers, I don't know how anyone could possibly stretch a whole portion out to the entire film.
While I'm saying "eat anything", there are some caveats. When the film goes quiet, so should you. Bringing any kind of food/drink into A Quiet Place should have been an arrestable offence.
Be prepared
You're in your seat and the film is starting, here are things you should already have done, preferably by the time the trailers start...
... have opened 3D glasses and have them easily to hand.
... taken off jackets and scarves and put them somewhere they won't bother others.
... opened any food and drink you brought with you. There never needs to be hissing and cracking of drinks or rustling trying to open packets in the dark.
... also, you passed a loo on the way into the screen, that would be a sensible time to use it.
In the cinema
So, we're basically all sitting in our seats now (if we're decent human beings) and waiting for the film... does our etiquette end here? No. It does not.
Talking
Just because when movies got audio they were called "talkies" does not mean that talking is allowed from you. I'm going to be bold here and say you should only speak at normal volume or quieter during ads, no one cares about them. There should only be whispering during trailers, some of them are interesting. During the main feature the audience should be completely silent apart from reactions... just imagine you're playing a role in A Quiet Place, your character's name is "Does nothing that might get them dead". The occasional whispered comment or brief update for someone who popped to the loo is fine, the only time I'd say it's potentially not okay is if you're sitting next to people you didn't come with.
If you're going to constantly ask questions like "who is that person?" or "what is that thing?" then you should probably be paying more attention or waiting for the film to actually reveal those things to you. Other ways to remedy this include doing research before coming to the cinema and waiting to watch the film on home release.
"HELLO? NO, I'M IN THE CINEMA, IT'S FINE."
It's never fine, you're a monster.
I have no objections if you want to use your phone on silent with the brightness turned down during the ads and trailers for anything other than talking. If you do it during the film... don't do it during the film. I did offer to patrol screenings from a Hawkeye perch with a beanbag gun but sadly no one got back to me on that.
That being said, if you're the only one there, or right at the back and out of everyone's peripheral vision then I don't object too much to you using your phone to look things up or tweet about the clearly very boring film that you're watching.
Be considerate to others
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| Photo by David Hurley on Unsplash |
Popcorn, the snack that bids for freedom. I frequently end up having to rescue popcorn from my person, it's unavoidable. What is totally avoidable though is showering someone else in popcorn. I'm looking at you guy who rather than asking his girlfriend to hold his popcorn as he took off his jacket proceeded to cover my hair with the first layer from his bag and didn't apologise... I'm not still annoyed about that, honest.
Putting your feet up is a difficult one, I don't object to it as long as you're keeping your feet and shoes off the seats and armrests. And you shouldn't do it if your shoes are going to end up in someone's peripheral vision. On a similar note, no one finds cinema seats completely comfy, you'll no doubt fidget, remember to try not to hit the seats in front of you when you do.
Rubbish
You wouldn't leave your rubbish laying around in the hopes that someone else would pick it up. (I live on my own, I can attest to the fact this doesn't work.) So don't do it in the cinema. They always have a bin on the way out or a member of staff waiting with a bin liner. Be considerate.
General rules
The next two points are general rules not specific to one part of your cinema experience, I'll go with the easier one first because I know you'll object to the second.
Spoilers, Sweetie
At any point during your visit you might encounter a person who has not seen a film you're talking about. These people might be behind you in the queue, in a toilet cubicle, sitting near you in the screen or passing you in the foyer... they look just like you or I do, there's no way to identify people who haven't seen the film... so don't blurt out spoilers while chatting, think before you speak. You can mute things on Twitter, you can't in real life... mores the pity.
Are kids the annoying ones?
Here we go... this is more of a public service announcement than a rule I guess. Kids are usually fine in films, it's the parents who scream at them that are the problem.
Honestly, once the film starts 99% of the time they're fine. But parents snipping at every little thing is much more annoying than what the kids are actually doing most of the time. Unless your kid is screaming bloody murder or kicking someone's chair, just leave them be.
Kids during films can be a wonderful thing. I sat in a Disney singalong showing of the Little Mermaid and listened to a girl singing the songs with her dad. It was delightful.
Parents, often your kids don't embarrass you, you embarrass you.
If I go off my own personal experiences then the list of annoying people goes in this order... old people, groups of teenagers, comic book nerds, Unlimited members, kids, everyone else. There are of course the odd exceptions. Oh, and yes, there are several stories behind that list.
Conclusion
There's one simple way to sum up this entire post really... be considerate... to staff and other cinema-goers. It's not a big ask, it's just common manners.
Nice post! I didn't know most cinemas in the U.K. lets movie goers bring their own food. I'd love for that to change in the U.S. Most of the time going to the cinema is a lot of fun, but sometimes it's a gamble depending on who you're sitting next to - if they'll text, talk, etc. Manners still matter even if you're in a cinema.
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