Slaughterhouse Rulez ★★☆☆☆ | Movie Review

Synopsis


Slaughterhouse is built on tradition, rules and something else that's altogether sinister.


Review


I can sum this film up in one easy way: it's Shaun Of The Dead meets Attack The Block meets St Trinians, but nowhere near as good as that film combo should be.

To say I'm a little bit heartbroken about this would be an understatement. This was one of my top picks from the autumn cinema offerings and now I'm just sad that it made the cut.

"Slaughterhouse Rulez looks like St Trinians, mixed with the aliens from Attack The Block meets the hellmouth from Sunnydale... and what's not to love about that?!" - quote from me in pre-release excitement.

Evidently, everything.

The general premise of the story seemed like a good one, and the trio of top acting talent felt like it would carry the film even if the story turned out to be flimsy. Here's my problem, I didn't enjoy any of their characters. I didn't find The Bat or Meredith Houseman likeable, even as comic relief, and while Woody Chapman was probably the best of the three I still found him annoying.

By far the best characters were brought to life by the younger cast members. Don and Willoughby have a great dynamic throughout and along with the interactions as a group when they join up with the girls to investigate they saved this from being a complete flop for me.

I take very rough notes in the screenings while I'm watching. It's generally me vaguely pointing a pen at the page and scribbling key words down. I think that my favourite during this one was "imitation Draco".

What I did notice from my scribblings is that I made more than one note about Shaun Of The Dead. Someone gets tooled up with a cricket bat, there's a very familiar moment with the car, and at one point I'm reminded of Dylan Moran being dragged through the pub window. Oh, and he gets the group together and heads out to the cadet range.

I said at the beginning that it's like Shaun Of The Dead meets Attack The Block meets St Trinians, I'm afraid that my suggestion would be to watch those instead. The sad thing is that I think I probably would have enjoyed it more if the big three hadn't been in it. Anticipation can be a bitch sometimes.

What you should do


I think this one is better viewed at home with some friends, probably with a drinking game.

Comments

  1. Just goes to show you that you should triple check your posts before you press publish. When I put this up I forgot my "movie thing you wish you could take home". I'm not really sure what that would be for this film if I'm honest. It might just have to be the mansion, minus the fracking and monsters of course!

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