Well you'd get a Sharknado... and if it happened more than once? You'd get Sharknado 2: The Second One.
I love crappy TV films... they are fantastic... but you really need to not take it seriously when you watch it. They're comedy, pure and simple.
Now, as I have no life, I've done a breakdown of this second masterpiece of shark and tornado... you're welcome... but I'm calling SPOILER ALERT if you haven't already seen it.
It'll be like I'm in the room with you, except you won't be able to tell me to shut up or throw something at me!
00:00:01 Oooh the plane looks like a shark going through the water.
00:00:28 Is that Kelly Osborne?
00:00:35 Yep, that's Kelly Osborne... are flight attendants allowed purple hair?
00:01:13 Really? She had her book in the cabin?
00:01:34 She wrote a book that looks like a rip-the-shit-out-of-something spoof book? Okay...
00:02:03 How fun do I think that was, you ask? It was freakin' awesome.
00:02:39 Was it just me or did he just make a slice of pizza sound incredibly sexy? No? Just me then!
00:02:48 Dun-dun.
00:03:32 Wow, impatient much?!
00:03:41 Creepy!! This woman is special!
00:04:10 Dun-dun.
00:04:28 The guy from Airplane!? This plane is well and truly f***ed.
00:05:00 Wil & Anne Wheaton? This film just got more awesome.
00:05:23 "Oh I've flown worse." Yes. He. Has.
00:05:25 What was that noise? Open the blind, you know you want to.
00:05:31 Did they CGI a massive serial killer smile on that shark?
00:05:34 That's definitely an "oh f**k!" face.
00:05:37 Okay, I never get that much leg room.
00:05:43 Seriously? You're going to ask him what he saw? Is every other American film/TV program I've seen wrong? Shouldn't you be asking him to shut up? Or come with me? Or both while beating him with something?!
00:06:06 Well better late than never I suppose!
00:06:20 Dun-dun, dun-dun, dun dun dun dun.
00:06:25 This is where the title sequence should kick in. "Sharknado" would zoom in from the background and crash to a halt followed by "The Second One" underneath.
00:06:34 You're both idiots.
00:06:49 And I thought birds in engines were the only problem!
00:07:21 What's that flying thing? Was that a shark?
00:07:25 That was definitely a shark.
00:07:29 "I've never seen anything like this." No shit Sherlock.
00:07:34 "What is causing the disturbance?" Erm... we seem to be flying through Seaworld. Over.
00:07:41 Why does Anne Wheaton always look fantastic? She's in a plane surrounded by sharks and the stress hasn't got to her!
00:07:45 At least they were sucked out of the plane and not eaten by sharks.
00:08:01 Where did that shark come from?
00:08:02 Bye bye Kelly!
00:08:15 Can I fly the plane?
00:08:35 And because no one was scared enough we'll fly the door open... look ma, no hands!
00:08:52 You are still in there? Did you have the chicken?
00:08:57 Tara, Tara... stay in your seat woman..... well this is going to end badly.
00:09:04 Here is where a percentage of the population develop an irrational fear of bathroom sharks.
- Wait a second... wasn't the plane nose diving just now? Would they really be struggling to get down the aisle like that? I have no technical info to back this up, just seems odd.
00:09:23 Where did these people get their Apple earbuds? I can't get mine to stay in when I'm sitting still let alone in a crashing plane!
00:09:28 Excellent scream Anne, and nice look of terror Wil.
00:09:29 Oh... my bad Wil... but at least Anne gets to scream more.
00:09:43 Well look at all these instruments... this should be easy.
- Also at this point where are all those airborne sharks? They were pelting the plane earlier and now there are none.
00:09:51 Told you so Tara.
00:09:53 Okay that trolley is totally going to come out and hit that guy.
00:09:56 Ha! Nailed it. Both me, and the trolley.
00:10:04 At this point I'm really impressed by the strength of these seatbelts! She's been swinging from that for a while!
00:10:30 Excellent bit of dialogue there to fill in the plot, so that everyone else can go back to screaming... but why is no one replying on the radio? Is no one in ground control worried?!
00:10:50 "Shark! Shark!" They're coming for you Tara, they want their royalties from the book!
00:10:55 Really? Your gun? Okay.
00:11:06 Nom nom nom... I'm impervious to your bullets.
00:11:10 My stump! Look at my stump!
00:11:56 Stuck the landing!
00:12:15 Kamikaze shark.
00:12:20 Welcome to New York.
- So now the credits kick in, still feel it's a bit late... but lets head bang to the tune anyway. "go go go go go go go run away from a sharknado!" That's going to get ruined. And that. And that. Yep, all of that.
00:13:54 "There's nothing to worry about." Err, didn't you see the first bit of the film?
00:15:19 It's okay, my ex-wife had her hand bitten off... but yeah I have time for an interview.
00:15:31 Is this the least appropriate role Andy Dick has ever been cast in?
00:17:16 Billy Ray! That man's voice would not fill me with confidence in a hospital. Serenade me! *sigh*
00:18:31 Wow Tara, where do you get your make-up?! A plane crash, a shark bites your hand off and surgery and you still look like you're ready for a night out!
00:18:39 How did they rescue her handbag from the plane and get it to her that quick? I've never had luggage out that quick.
00:19:03 "It's like he knew who I was." He was on his way to the interview you were doing, he was going to call you out as a murderer who killed his entire family on national TV.
00:19:46 Really? We're making hand jokes already?!
00:20:00 Just in case the residents of New York can't imagine a sharknado here are some graphics.
00:20:29 These girls might as well be wearing red shirts. I'm surprised they even gave them names beyond "shark meat" and "shark meat 2 the second one".
00:20:52 Ahh okay, they've been thrown in to break up the plane crash story.
00:21:45 Oh no! How will I find them?!
00:21:48 I pre-emptively brought you a ticket because I knew there'd be some crisis that would bring us all back together.
00:21:57 "It'll be the first place it hits." All of a sudden she's an expert.
00:22:42 Dun-dun, dun-dun.
00:23:47 Judd Hirsch driving a taxi... ooh deja-vu.
00:25:17 Well you look familiar... *gets phone to IMDB*... ah, Independence Day... okay, carry on.
00:26:10 Good question.
00:26:23 I'm glad you seem to have thought a lot about this Judd.
00:27:12 There's something really terrible about Judah Friedland's acting.
00:28:07 Wait... what did that story have to do with anything?
00:28:10 Oh like dude, that sucks... really...
00:28:27 Do cab drivers tout for repeat business?
00:28:35 Yeah, Judd acts too well to play you.
00:29:03 No condition to leave? She looks better than I do when I'm going on a date. [I can hear you laughing, zip it!] She looks pristine and not a single after effect of anaesthetic or drugs.
00:29:31 This is some fairly random music to throw in isn't it?
00:29:43 That reaction kind of says "oh crap!"
00:30:04 You forgot to give him something? Well that's usually a slap right?
00:30:15 That was no slap... and P.S. for someone who is "with April" you sure waited long enough before pulling away.
00:30:53 That's it scary-faced man, get a little dig in.
00:31:12 There's a lot of rain/snow in this shot. How come when we just saw them at their seats it was nice and bright with no rain?
00:31:28 Aaaaaand... cue panic.
00:31:43 Grab some weapons! Why on earth would you snap the bat? There's been no mention of a sharknado yet, just flooding... did you read ahead in the script?!
00:31:49 Of course you go for the huge one.
00:31:35 Considering the size of the ball park that's not really many people running away.
00:32:01 Worst. Running. Ever.
00:32:09 Did he just somersault through the number 42? I know it's the answer to everything but seriously? Just go around.
00:32:21 So that's why we got the story. Good for you mate, but no.
00:32:34 They ran out as a group and are now somehow all separated.
00:32:49 Yeah f**k you storm they were winning!
00:32:52 What?! All those screaming people ran in before him... how did he manage to get in at the same time?
00:33:18 I love how now they're on the platform they've stopped screaming... it's okay, you can't see it so you must be safe!
00:34:40 Shot of the boat on the water... so why are they jogging on to the deck?
00:34:47 So they're just showing various boats now... well done.
00:34:51 They're heeeere.
00:35:03 We need to move the boat faster..? No one in the history of the world has ever said it that way.
00:35:15 I'm fairly certain every shot of that shark was a different size.
00:35:17 She has a tazer? Is this an American standard?
00:35:31 Bye bye shark meat.
00:36:02 Let us use our time on the subway to bond again.
00:36:23 If he'd forgotten his gloves why would that make him afraid of the dark?
00:36:32 Subway shark?
00:37:04 No, just your regular alligator.
00:37:09 Run!
00:37:18 And here's your sneak peak at the next motion picture, Mega-shark Vs Crocosaurus... damn... I just checked, that's already taken... 2.5 on IMDB, looks like a classic.
00:38:37 Perez Hilton... he'd better get eaten first.
00:38:45 Fantastic advert for Subway, can't help but think that as an English person I'm missing something there.
00:38:49 That was a fantastic Batman original series response to seeing a shark.
00:39:16 The whole end of the train.
00:39:28 Thank you Mr Shark.
00:39:53 Was Gandalf in that crowd?
00:40:03 How are these people still near the sharks?!
00:40:16 He slaps the red button, the universal stop... but it's not actually on the wall... good job continuity!
00:41:01 I'm right here and I'm not even slightly wet.
00:41:13 A baby shark... these are the bizarre little things we're doing now?
00:41:51 Of course they meet up again!
00:42:13 Built like a brick prison you say? Like almost every prison is.
00:42:44 There are no chain saws in Manhattan, you need to go to Texas for that.
00:43:23 A disaster movie always needs a crazy guy with a placard.
00:43:46 You obviously didn't repent enough.
00:44:00 Three women in distress, this is my lucky day.
00:44:03 Was that a briefcase full of money??
00:44:13 For lady liberty.
00:44:54 Do people really throw away bowling balls in black sacks? I can't get to the bin with out the bag splitting.
00:45:17 Why are you still holding the bowling ball?
00:45:25 I feel like the bowling ball rolling away was in place of the head rolling away... rolling heads make for complaints!
00:45:38 Would she really still be rolling? Somehow she's turned a corner and everything.
00:45:48 I'm fairly certain they ran at the side of the truck and then the truck drove straight on... so she has turned another corner, right?
00:46:00 If she just pulled over on to the pavement they'd probably be safe.
00:46:19 And had she just stopped instead of crashing they could still be driving right now.
00:47:02 Yeah, sharknado, get it right!
00:47:35 Nuff said indeed.
00:47:43 Water water everywhere but not a drop on the car.
00:47:52 In the history of hospital admittance no one has ever been visited this much by a country singing doctor.
00:48:00 Somehow she's dressed with a bandaged arm [that seems bigger than her sleeve] and she's found a sling... and her lipstick. God forbid she not be perfect for the next shark meeting.
00:48:08 I can see how she managed to get the clothes on... just... but how did she get manage to get the glove on her one hand?
00:48:30 Lets do some advertising for Time Square. We have everything people of the world! Come and visit!
00:49:07 Yay, the song again.
00:49:33 That's the guy from Men In Black.
00:49:59 Well that's just cursed it.
00:50:02 How did that shark come through the roof? Wasn't that shop under a whole lot of other floors?
00:50:07 Shark pizza special tomorrow.
00:50:29 This is the best equipped deli I have ever seen if it has all that stuff and a stuffed ferret.
00:50:52 I like your thinking kid, but I'm not convinced your idea will work in the real world... in movie world however...
00:51:07 Disaster outside... but I'm still going to mop the floor.
00:51:25 Judd you crack me up.
00:51:34 Well I'm a little disappointed he didn't suit up too.
00:52:16 "That'll be the safest place." This is a sharknado... nothing is safe.
00:52:19 Boris bikes!
00:52:24 Erm, look to your left.
00:52:53 It is not that difficult to work out where the whimpering is coming from.
00:53:17 Don't let her take your hand! It's the only one you have left.
00:53:56 That was not a good facial expression.
00:54:07 Two inches an hour... is that an official shark measurement?
00:54:26 Right, so a shark floods down the stairs in the hospital and into the street, but the street outside is completely dry and sunny. Seriously, where are these shark tsunamis coming from?
00:55:26 No you did not have tow rope by your feet!
00:55:34 And I'm sorry but I don't believe you were that lucky with your throw.
00:56:43 I'm having my doubts right now but I'm suspending reality for a bit.
00:56:49 Judd, I'd stay in the car and wind the windows up.
00:56:54 I'm going to have to try getting out of a car that way... I'm impressed that old and young alike can climb out windows and get on to the car like that.
00:57:03 I love the randomness of that... "only one of my legs is real." Take it off and use it to beat sharks as you go.
00:57:20 Bye bye Judd.
00:57:27 Well you're f***ed.
00:57:39 Well that's the face of a man who has had an idea.
00:57:50 *opens mouth to say something and raises finger... thinks better of it.*
00:58:06 Why is that concierge still working? If I had to be there I'd be sitting on that counter.
00:58:18 Just as well his wife kicks ass because it really doesn't look like he could.
00:58:46 I sense more bonding coming.
01:00:34 Bye bye shark meat the second one
01:00:43 That twister was right behind them just now. Why did they stop so far away from the door and why were they somehow unaffected by it?
01:01:33 For people who are unlikely to have been in the roof section of this building before they sure do seem to know where they're going.
01:02:00 Yolo"b"us... really?
01:03:01 Was that an octopus hitting the window? What's with all these other creatures encroaching?
01:03:59 I know there's water on the screen but he really doesn't look like he's getting wet.
01:04:46 Am I wrong or did he look a little turned on by her wielding that sword?
01:05:27 This seems to be a very bad attempt at stopping the storms.
01:05:51 What is that odd creaking noise? I'm going to take a guess...
01:06:03 That concierge was really engrossed in his job... or he was playing solitaire.
01:06:50 Flaming sharks.
01:07:01 That one guy was really lucky!
01:07:30 Okay lets pause for a moment. They are running up and the water level is at floor 3 and rising. There wasn't enough water from the roof to flood any basement levels and the ground floor. Even if there had been it would have flooded out the front door of the hotel... and there was no flooding out there... how is it flooding up the stairwell?
01:07:55 They ran down from the top pretty quick.
01:08:12 Someone should report that stuck fire door.
01:09:06 That was unnecessary... that shark was miles away and you just waited so you could axe him in the head. He hadn't even tried to bite you yet!
01:09:26 What a waste of an axe, you could have been safely through that door.
01:09:50 Ladies and gentlemen, the fire department are now running a taxi service.
01:11:22 Yeah there's nothing else to worry about right now so lets panic about our relationship a bit.
01:11:46 We're fighters Fin, not like those pansies in LA.
01:11:54 Solidarity!!
01:12:20 Eight minutes to convergence... how long does it take to get to the top?
01:14:32 Sweet! But how did the mayor know about the Jersey line?
01:14:44 Aah, a motivational speech. We're already at two minutes of screen time since you had eight minutes to get to the top... I've googled it. Right to the top is 1.5 mins. So we're down to 4.5 mins remaining.
01:15:16 You people don't see anything usually but you all see this one shark?!
01:15:32 Straight down the middle including the tail? Well done... *shakes head*
01:15:37 "You're brilliant!" Stalker in the making?
01:16:05 So we're now at 4 mins plus 1.5 mins and they're just making their way to the building.
01:16:15 Well that makes no sense... the first time round!
01:16:21 Ahh movie magic. It only took you 16 seconds of screen time to get up there.
01:16:42 That's a handy length of cable... I'm completely ignoring the fact that he knows there were freon tanks up there and how to blow them up.
01:16:54 There is no way you knew that shark was coming for you.
01:17:01 Well hello... another 16 second elevator.
01:17:13 You did not just retrofit your hand with a buzz saw in under a minute!
01:19:36 This is the most dramatic countdown ever! Why is he moving his body like that?
01:19:58 Well done movie time... that was under eight minutes.
01:20:01 How on earth is he going to get out of this mess?
01:20:21 Don't know what you're all cheering about, it's about to rain sharks.
01:20:31 Wait, I thought he froze the storm... how are there still flaming sharks?
01:20:36 Excellent a snow shovel!
01:20:39 Excellent a... machete?!
01:20:45 Excellent a... mobster's car loaded with guns?
01:20:52 Go angry mob go!
01:21:10 He's still falling?
01:21:12 And so is his chain saw!
01:21:29 I eat sharks for breakfast... grrrr.
01:21:44 When daytime TV goes bad.
01:22:02 Excellent a... pitchfork?! Seriously who has a pitchfork in New York?
01:22:06 Excellent a... crazy redneck with a flat bed full of chain saws? This is getting a tad stupid now.
01:22:12 I'm so confused... where is this twister he threw it in? I'm no expert but I'm imagining chain saws are heavy to throw... so it's about two foot away? Don't even get me started on the health and safety of turning a sharknado into a chainsawsharknado.
01:22:40 Look there's a handy chain hanging in mid air!
01:22:54 I'm an ex-surfer I can ride anything.
01:23:01 Nailed the landing.
01:23:27 F**k the stairs.
01:23:43 How are you seeing these sharks coming?! Oh wait... you're going by the background music aren't you! That makes so much more sense now.
01:23:49 You did not see that arm in there!
01:23:56 An arm with a gun... this is very similar to her lost arm earlier except she's just short a hand.
01:24:15 More hand jokes?!
01:25:20 Where were the stairs they were next to in that shot?
01:25:27 Fantastic, fireworks and his name on the building... it's like this was planned or something!
01:25:40 At least he got his slice of pizza.
Well that's it... if you read this whole thing I'm impressed... you must equally have no life just like me!
I love crappy TV films... they are fantastic... but you really need to not take it seriously when you watch it. They're comedy, pure and simple.
Now, as I have no life, I've done a breakdown of this second masterpiece of shark and tornado... you're welcome... but I'm calling SPOILER ALERT if you haven't already seen it.
It'll be like I'm in the room with you, except you won't be able to tell me to shut up or throw something at me!
Sharknado 2: The Second One as contemplated by my random mind
00:00:01 Oooh the plane looks like a shark going through the water.
00:00:28 Is that Kelly Osborne?
00:00:35 Yep, that's Kelly Osborne... are flight attendants allowed purple hair?
00:01:13 Really? She had her book in the cabin?
00:01:34 She wrote a book that looks like a rip-the-shit-out-of-something spoof book? Okay...
00:02:03 How fun do I think that was, you ask? It was freakin' awesome.
00:02:39 Was it just me or did he just make a slice of pizza sound incredibly sexy? No? Just me then!
00:02:48 Dun-dun.
00:03:32 Wow, impatient much?!
00:03:41 Creepy!! This woman is special!
00:04:10 Dun-dun.
00:04:28 The guy from Airplane!? This plane is well and truly f***ed.
00:05:00 Wil & Anne Wheaton? This film just got more awesome.
00:05:23 "Oh I've flown worse." Yes. He. Has.
00:05:25 What was that noise? Open the blind, you know you want to.
00:05:31 Did they CGI a massive serial killer smile on that shark?
00:05:34 That's definitely an "oh f**k!" face.
00:05:37 Okay, I never get that much leg room.
00:05:43 Seriously? You're going to ask him what he saw? Is every other American film/TV program I've seen wrong? Shouldn't you be asking him to shut up? Or come with me? Or both while beating him with something?!
00:06:06 Well better late than never I suppose!
00:06:20 Dun-dun, dun-dun, dun dun dun dun.
00:06:25 This is where the title sequence should kick in. "Sharknado" would zoom in from the background and crash to a halt followed by "The Second One" underneath.
00:06:34 You're both idiots.
00:06:49 And I thought birds in engines were the only problem!
00:07:21 What's that flying thing? Was that a shark?
00:07:25 That was definitely a shark.
00:07:29 "I've never seen anything like this." No shit Sherlock.
00:07:34 "What is causing the disturbance?" Erm... we seem to be flying through Seaworld. Over.
00:07:41 Why does Anne Wheaton always look fantastic? She's in a plane surrounded by sharks and the stress hasn't got to her!
00:07:45 At least they were sucked out of the plane and not eaten by sharks.
00:08:01 Where did that shark come from?
00:08:02 Bye bye Kelly!
00:08:15 Can I fly the plane?
00:08:35 And because no one was scared enough we'll fly the door open... look ma, no hands!
00:08:52 You are still in there? Did you have the chicken?
00:08:57 Tara, Tara... stay in your seat woman..... well this is going to end badly.
00:09:04 Here is where a percentage of the population develop an irrational fear of bathroom sharks.
- Wait a second... wasn't the plane nose diving just now? Would they really be struggling to get down the aisle like that? I have no technical info to back this up, just seems odd.
00:09:23 Where did these people get their Apple earbuds? I can't get mine to stay in when I'm sitting still let alone in a crashing plane!
00:09:28 Excellent scream Anne, and nice look of terror Wil.
00:09:29 Oh... my bad Wil... but at least Anne gets to scream more.
00:09:43 Well look at all these instruments... this should be easy.
- Also at this point where are all those airborne sharks? They were pelting the plane earlier and now there are none.
00:09:51 Told you so Tara.
00:09:53 Okay that trolley is totally going to come out and hit that guy.
00:09:56 Ha! Nailed it. Both me, and the trolley.
00:10:04 At this point I'm really impressed by the strength of these seatbelts! She's been swinging from that for a while!
00:10:30 Excellent bit of dialogue there to fill in the plot, so that everyone else can go back to screaming... but why is no one replying on the radio? Is no one in ground control worried?!
00:10:50 "Shark! Shark!" They're coming for you Tara, they want their royalties from the book!
00:10:55 Really? Your gun? Okay.
00:11:06 Nom nom nom... I'm impervious to your bullets.
00:11:10 My stump! Look at my stump!
00:11:56 Stuck the landing!
00:12:15 Kamikaze shark.
00:12:20 Welcome to New York.
- So now the credits kick in, still feel it's a bit late... but lets head bang to the tune anyway. "go go go go go go go run away from a sharknado!" That's going to get ruined. And that. And that. Yep, all of that.
00:13:54 "There's nothing to worry about." Err, didn't you see the first bit of the film?
00:15:19 It's okay, my ex-wife had her hand bitten off... but yeah I have time for an interview.
00:15:31 Is this the least appropriate role Andy Dick has ever been cast in?
00:17:16 Billy Ray! That man's voice would not fill me with confidence in a hospital. Serenade me! *sigh*
00:18:31 Wow Tara, where do you get your make-up?! A plane crash, a shark bites your hand off and surgery and you still look like you're ready for a night out!
00:18:39 How did they rescue her handbag from the plane and get it to her that quick? I've never had luggage out that quick.
00:19:03 "It's like he knew who I was." He was on his way to the interview you were doing, he was going to call you out as a murderer who killed his entire family on national TV.
00:19:46 Really? We're making hand jokes already?!
00:20:00 Just in case the residents of New York can't imagine a sharknado here are some graphics.
00:20:29 These girls might as well be wearing red shirts. I'm surprised they even gave them names beyond "shark meat" and "shark meat 2 the second one".
00:20:52 Ahh okay, they've been thrown in to break up the plane crash story.
00:21:45 Oh no! How will I find them?!
00:21:48 I pre-emptively brought you a ticket because I knew there'd be some crisis that would bring us all back together.
00:21:57 "It'll be the first place it hits." All of a sudden she's an expert.
00:22:42 Dun-dun, dun-dun.
00:23:47 Judd Hirsch driving a taxi... ooh deja-vu.
00:25:17 Well you look familiar... *gets phone to IMDB*... ah, Independence Day... okay, carry on.
00:26:10 Good question.
00:26:23 I'm glad you seem to have thought a lot about this Judd.
00:27:12 There's something really terrible about Judah Friedland's acting.
00:28:07 Wait... what did that story have to do with anything?
00:28:10 Oh like dude, that sucks... really...
00:28:27 Do cab drivers tout for repeat business?
00:28:35 Yeah, Judd acts too well to play you.
00:29:03 No condition to leave? She looks better than I do when I'm going on a date. [I can hear you laughing, zip it!] She looks pristine and not a single after effect of anaesthetic or drugs.
00:29:31 This is some fairly random music to throw in isn't it?
00:29:43 That reaction kind of says "oh crap!"
00:30:04 You forgot to give him something? Well that's usually a slap right?
00:30:15 That was no slap... and P.S. for someone who is "with April" you sure waited long enough before pulling away.
00:30:53 That's it scary-faced man, get a little dig in.
00:31:12 There's a lot of rain/snow in this shot. How come when we just saw them at their seats it was nice and bright with no rain?
00:31:28 Aaaaaand... cue panic.
00:31:43 Grab some weapons! Why on earth would you snap the bat? There's been no mention of a sharknado yet, just flooding... did you read ahead in the script?!
00:31:49 Of course you go for the huge one.
00:31:35 Considering the size of the ball park that's not really many people running away.
00:32:01 Worst. Running. Ever.
00:32:09 Did he just somersault through the number 42? I know it's the answer to everything but seriously? Just go around.
00:32:21 So that's why we got the story. Good for you mate, but no.
00:32:34 They ran out as a group and are now somehow all separated.
00:32:49 Yeah f**k you storm they were winning!
00:32:52 What?! All those screaming people ran in before him... how did he manage to get in at the same time?
00:33:18 I love how now they're on the platform they've stopped screaming... it's okay, you can't see it so you must be safe!
00:34:40 Shot of the boat on the water... so why are they jogging on to the deck?
00:34:47 So they're just showing various boats now... well done.
00:34:51 They're heeeere.
00:35:03 We need to move the boat faster..? No one in the history of the world has ever said it that way.
00:35:15 I'm fairly certain every shot of that shark was a different size.
00:35:17 She has a tazer? Is this an American standard?
00:35:31 Bye bye shark meat.
00:36:02 Let us use our time on the subway to bond again.
00:36:23 If he'd forgotten his gloves why would that make him afraid of the dark?
00:36:32 Subway shark?
00:37:04 No, just your regular alligator.
00:37:09 Run!
00:37:18 And here's your sneak peak at the next motion picture, Mega-shark Vs Crocosaurus... damn... I just checked, that's already taken... 2.5 on IMDB, looks like a classic.
00:38:37 Perez Hilton... he'd better get eaten first.
00:38:45 Fantastic advert for Subway, can't help but think that as an English person I'm missing something there.
00:38:49 That was a fantastic Batman original series response to seeing a shark.
00:39:16 The whole end of the train.
00:39:28 Thank you Mr Shark.
00:39:53 Was Gandalf in that crowd?
00:40:03 How are these people still near the sharks?!
00:40:16 He slaps the red button, the universal stop... but it's not actually on the wall... good job continuity!
00:41:01 I'm right here and I'm not even slightly wet.
00:41:13 A baby shark... these are the bizarre little things we're doing now?
00:41:51 Of course they meet up again!
00:42:13 Built like a brick prison you say? Like almost every prison is.
00:42:44 There are no chain saws in Manhattan, you need to go to Texas for that.
00:43:23 A disaster movie always needs a crazy guy with a placard.
00:43:46 You obviously didn't repent enough.
00:44:00 Three women in distress, this is my lucky day.
00:44:03 Was that a briefcase full of money??
00:44:13 For lady liberty.
00:44:54 Do people really throw away bowling balls in black sacks? I can't get to the bin with out the bag splitting.
00:45:17 Why are you still holding the bowling ball?
00:45:25 I feel like the bowling ball rolling away was in place of the head rolling away... rolling heads make for complaints!
00:45:38 Would she really still be rolling? Somehow she's turned a corner and everything.
00:45:48 I'm fairly certain they ran at the side of the truck and then the truck drove straight on... so she has turned another corner, right?
00:46:00 If she just pulled over on to the pavement they'd probably be safe.
00:46:19 And had she just stopped instead of crashing they could still be driving right now.
00:47:02 Yeah, sharknado, get it right!
00:47:35 Nuff said indeed.
00:47:43 Water water everywhere but not a drop on the car.
00:47:52 In the history of hospital admittance no one has ever been visited this much by a country singing doctor.
00:48:00 Somehow she's dressed with a bandaged arm [that seems bigger than her sleeve] and she's found a sling... and her lipstick. God forbid she not be perfect for the next shark meeting.
00:48:08 I can see how she managed to get the clothes on... just... but how did she get manage to get the glove on her one hand?
00:48:30 Lets do some advertising for Time Square. We have everything people of the world! Come and visit!
00:49:07 Yay, the song again.
00:49:33 That's the guy from Men In Black.
00:49:59 Well that's just cursed it.
00:50:02 How did that shark come through the roof? Wasn't that shop under a whole lot of other floors?
00:50:07 Shark pizza special tomorrow.
00:50:29 This is the best equipped deli I have ever seen if it has all that stuff and a stuffed ferret.
00:50:52 I like your thinking kid, but I'm not convinced your idea will work in the real world... in movie world however...
00:51:07 Disaster outside... but I'm still going to mop the floor.
00:51:25 Judd you crack me up.
00:51:34 Well I'm a little disappointed he didn't suit up too.
00:52:16 "That'll be the safest place." This is a sharknado... nothing is safe.
00:52:19 Boris bikes!
00:52:24 Erm, look to your left.
00:52:53 It is not that difficult to work out where the whimpering is coming from.
00:53:17 Don't let her take your hand! It's the only one you have left.
00:53:56 That was not a good facial expression.
00:54:07 Two inches an hour... is that an official shark measurement?
00:54:26 Right, so a shark floods down the stairs in the hospital and into the street, but the street outside is completely dry and sunny. Seriously, where are these shark tsunamis coming from?
00:55:26 No you did not have tow rope by your feet!
00:55:34 And I'm sorry but I don't believe you were that lucky with your throw.
00:56:43 I'm having my doubts right now but I'm suspending reality for a bit.
00:56:49 Judd, I'd stay in the car and wind the windows up.
00:56:54 I'm going to have to try getting out of a car that way... I'm impressed that old and young alike can climb out windows and get on to the car like that.
00:57:03 I love the randomness of that... "only one of my legs is real." Take it off and use it to beat sharks as you go.
00:57:20 Bye bye Judd.
00:57:27 Well you're f***ed.
00:57:39 Well that's the face of a man who has had an idea.
00:57:50 *opens mouth to say something and raises finger... thinks better of it.*
00:58:06 Why is that concierge still working? If I had to be there I'd be sitting on that counter.
00:58:18 Just as well his wife kicks ass because it really doesn't look like he could.
00:58:46 I sense more bonding coming.
01:00:34 Bye bye shark meat the second one
01:00:43 That twister was right behind them just now. Why did they stop so far away from the door and why were they somehow unaffected by it?
01:01:33 For people who are unlikely to have been in the roof section of this building before they sure do seem to know where they're going.
01:02:00 Yolo"b"us... really?
01:03:01 Was that an octopus hitting the window? What's with all these other creatures encroaching?
01:03:59 I know there's water on the screen but he really doesn't look like he's getting wet.
01:04:46 Am I wrong or did he look a little turned on by her wielding that sword?
01:05:27 This seems to be a very bad attempt at stopping the storms.
01:05:51 What is that odd creaking noise? I'm going to take a guess...
01:06:03 That concierge was really engrossed in his job... or he was playing solitaire.
01:06:50 Flaming sharks.
01:07:01 That one guy was really lucky!
01:07:30 Okay lets pause for a moment. They are running up and the water level is at floor 3 and rising. There wasn't enough water from the roof to flood any basement levels and the ground floor. Even if there had been it would have flooded out the front door of the hotel... and there was no flooding out there... how is it flooding up the stairwell?
01:07:55 They ran down from the top pretty quick.
01:08:12 Someone should report that stuck fire door.
01:09:06 That was unnecessary... that shark was miles away and you just waited so you could axe him in the head. He hadn't even tried to bite you yet!
01:09:26 What a waste of an axe, you could have been safely through that door.
01:09:50 Ladies and gentlemen, the fire department are now running a taxi service.
01:11:22 Yeah there's nothing else to worry about right now so lets panic about our relationship a bit.
01:11:46 We're fighters Fin, not like those pansies in LA.
01:11:54 Solidarity!!
01:12:20 Eight minutes to convergence... how long does it take to get to the top?
01:14:32 Sweet! But how did the mayor know about the Jersey line?
01:14:44 Aah, a motivational speech. We're already at two minutes of screen time since you had eight minutes to get to the top... I've googled it. Right to the top is 1.5 mins. So we're down to 4.5 mins remaining.
01:15:16 You people don't see anything usually but you all see this one shark?!
01:15:32 Straight down the middle including the tail? Well done... *shakes head*
01:15:37 "You're brilliant!" Stalker in the making?
01:16:05 So we're now at 4 mins plus 1.5 mins and they're just making their way to the building.
01:16:15 Well that makes no sense... the first time round!
01:16:21 Ahh movie magic. It only took you 16 seconds of screen time to get up there.
01:16:42 That's a handy length of cable... I'm completely ignoring the fact that he knows there were freon tanks up there and how to blow them up.
01:16:54 There is no way you knew that shark was coming for you.
01:17:01 Well hello... another 16 second elevator.
01:17:13 You did not just retrofit your hand with a buzz saw in under a minute!
01:19:36 This is the most dramatic countdown ever! Why is he moving his body like that?
01:19:58 Well done movie time... that was under eight minutes.
01:20:01 How on earth is he going to get out of this mess?
01:20:21 Don't know what you're all cheering about, it's about to rain sharks.
01:20:31 Wait, I thought he froze the storm... how are there still flaming sharks?
01:20:36 Excellent a snow shovel!
01:20:39 Excellent a... machete?!
01:20:45 Excellent a... mobster's car loaded with guns?
01:20:52 Go angry mob go!
01:21:10 He's still falling?
01:21:12 And so is his chain saw!
01:21:29 I eat sharks for breakfast... grrrr.
01:21:44 When daytime TV goes bad.
01:22:02 Excellent a... pitchfork?! Seriously who has a pitchfork in New York?
01:22:06 Excellent a... crazy redneck with a flat bed full of chain saws? This is getting a tad stupid now.
01:22:12 I'm so confused... where is this twister he threw it in? I'm no expert but I'm imagining chain saws are heavy to throw... so it's about two foot away? Don't even get me started on the health and safety of turning a sharknado into a chainsawsharknado.
01:22:40 Look there's a handy chain hanging in mid air!
01:22:54 I'm an ex-surfer I can ride anything.
01:23:01 Nailed the landing.
01:23:27 F**k the stairs.
01:23:43 How are you seeing these sharks coming?! Oh wait... you're going by the background music aren't you! That makes so much more sense now.
01:23:49 You did not see that arm in there!
01:23:56 An arm with a gun... this is very similar to her lost arm earlier except she's just short a hand.
01:24:15 More hand jokes?!
01:25:20 Where were the stairs they were next to in that shot?
01:25:27 Fantastic, fireworks and his name on the building... it's like this was planned or something!
01:25:40 At least he got his slice of pizza.
Well that's it... if you read this whole thing I'm impressed... you must equally have no life just like me!
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